Parenting 2.0

The following are sentiments sent via email, by my sister, to my family in regards to my late Nana, who passed away in 2006.

We miss you, we love you and we remember…

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I wanted to write to first say to Dad, because it is his mom, and we all know how important a mom is … that I was thinking about you and also Nana many times today.  I am sure we all were.

But secondly, to all, if I was a poet or a songwriter, I would have a page ready to be made public with all the thoughts running through my head – it felt like I should write them down … Anyway here is the synopsis, not the published work or pop tune!

Ever since I told Nana on the phone back in December 2006 that I was having a third baby, and then 2 days later was told she was in hospital, the memories of that month are so crystal clear.  Not sure why.  But each night as I walked Reuban [our dog] to the end of our street, to the little park to go the bathroom, I would gaze at the Nativity outside St. Joseph’s church and pray for Nana. I would think about the cool wind on my face, think about the black sky with gray foggy clouds … wondering back in 2006 if she would ever feel or see those very things again.  Things we all take for granted … wind, outside air, cold, stars, clouds.

I started out on my walk tonight again, gazed at the Nativity and felt a lump in my throat and felt my eyes well up — it then started raining – first spitting and then when I left the Nativity it was absolutely pouring. Thankfully, I know it wasn’t ‘tears from heaven’ as I do know she is happy and content now with Grandad by her side.  The two of them bring to my mind holiness, peace, grace, love, respect … they were so in love with each other and their family.  I have always loved the picture that circulated yesterday – as if they were on a date, just the two of them, the ‘rainbow’ bestowing some magic toward them in their own world ….

Anyway, if I was a poet this would be a beautiful verse but it’s just me and my thoughts … year and year again around this date.  Crystal clear.

I love you Dad, love you Mom, love you siblings.

xoxoo

***

And some thoughts from me…

I miss her too.

One connection I always make when I think about her, is her hands. They were so small and soft and I loved to hold hands with her…even when I was in my 20s. I secretly hoped we would have a chance to hold hands on her couch, and usually it happened every time. She’d be sitting in her pencil skirt, ankles crossed and feet perched on her footstool, while I sat by her side, literally, touching her side, and she would take my hand and tell me a story or something that was going on, or just ask me how I was doing and what was new. Anyway, I cherished those moments and still do and can clearly remember how her tiny hand felt in mine, fingers interlocked and all.

Love you Nana!