Parenting 2.0

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If you’ve ever been around a toddler, even for a little while, you’d know that deciphering their toddler speak is not the easiest of tasks. Even if you’re the parent. Most of the time I can get what Niko’s saying, but then other times I’m just like “Huh?”.

So earlier today, amidst the morning chaos, as I’m doing dishes, packing Daddy’s lunch, sweeping the floor, putting the dog out, trying not to step on all the cars that seemed to have gathered underfoot and all the while having the willing hands and smile of a two year old trying to help me out, I was once again faced with the reality of not being able to clearly understand my little tyke.

This morning I imbued him with the new task of putting the cheese and cucumber back in the fridge. I haphazardly passed him the two grocery bags that had the items, and he of course fiddled with them until he was holding each bag by it’s proper handle, and by that time they were dragging on the floor. Then he couldn’t get the fridge door open because his hands here full, so I set it ajar and he figured out the rest.

So while I’m chopping and organizing Daddy’s lunch, Niko’s chattering away to himself (or me – sometimes it’s hard to tell) with the fridge door open. And the way our fridge is set up, the open door completely blocks him from view. So I can hear him, but I can’ t see him. He seems to be talking about his ice cold fish, and he’s going on and on about it:

“Ice Cold! Ice Cold! Ice Cold!” and getting progressively more and more excited!

He actually has a little gel-filled ice pack that we keep in the fridge, adorned with the picture of a fish, that we use in those moments of crisis when only ice seems to help his boo boos. Anyway, from time to time he catches a glimpse of it in the fridge and wants to take it out. So I assume that’s what he’s talking about:

“Ice Cold! Ice Cold! Ice Cold Mama!”.

And again, he’s getting more and more excited and I’m just pretty focused on packing this lunch in front of me.

At last, Niko emerges from behind the fridge door still excitedly exclaiming “Ice cold Mama!” and now having added giggling and hopping back and forth from foot to foot to his excitement, all the while smiling up at me and transferring a raw egg precariously from hand to hand.

Me???? Finally cluing in…

It wasn’t “Ice cold!”, but rather “Egg hold! Egg hold! Egg hold, Mama!”


How he got the raw egg out of the carton, and into my line of vision without breaking it, I’ll never know! I’m just thankful I got to rescue that fragile shell from his helping hands before it added to my “to-do” list.

Our morning routine involves getting Niko settled at the table, usually with cereal or toast, some fruit and some milk, and accompanied by some form of YouTube video: Caillou, Smurfs or Thomas the Tank Engine. In general Niko doesn’t watch a lot of TV, but during breakfast he’s allowed to enjoy his shows while Mommy and Daddy get the morning started – showers, cleaning the kitchen, coffee!, etc.

We know it’s user beware when it comes to the internet, but after months of watching Caillou episodes Borys may have let his guard down this weekend. It seems some people like to tamper with children’s shows, and then post them on YouTube. On this particular morning, Niko was happily settled in for an episode of Caillou and Daddy had stepped into the kitchen to prepare some Cheerios, only vaguely tuned in to what was going on in the dining room, but his senses sharpening when he heard the voice of Caillou let out an very loud and exaggerated “F**k You”!!!. This is how it went…

Caillou (in his regular whiny voice): Mommy…blah blah blah (or whatever he was saying…). Yadda yadda yadda…(you get the idea..).

Then… dun dun dun… F**k You!!!

At this point Daddy’s ears were alerted and he rushed in to change the video. At which point Niko looked up at him and said quite seriously, “Daddy, Niko no like it.” (Note: Yes, he officially started referring to himself as Niko, instead of Kiko.)

Good boy Niko. Good boy.

Note to self: Must pay closer attention to what is being shown on YouTube.

Little monkey is in to everything these days.  And by “in”, I literally mean it. One of his new favourite things to do is play hide and seek. Mostly these bouts begin when he realizes I am putting him to bed and he playfully, albeit not that quietly, goes and hides behind his rocking chair, leaving me to see just one little shining and mischievous eye peeking in and out from the behind the chair.

A clear sign that he’s hiding (besides me actually seeing him scurry to his hiding place) is when things go quiet. You know quiet – that sound of silence that used to grace us quite frequently in the time before kids? But in this case quiet doesn’t actually mean silent, just quieter than usual, because if you listen carefully you can hear the accelerated and whispered breathing of an excited Niko, whose feet are sticking out from under the moving curtain, or whatever the “secret” spot of the minute might be.

The other day Borys was put into a mild state of panic (having a toddler around can just do that!) when Niko seemed to be playing underfoot one minute, but had quietly disappeared the next. Now seeing as they were in our house, and our house has baby security gates at all the major “danger” spots, the little guy couldn’t have travelled too far. But Borys was left wondering where the heck he was when a quick search of the living room, dining room and kitchen revealed nothing. So Daddy’s left searching, and by searching I mean mostly just standing around in one spot wondering “What the heck?!”, when he hears the telltale signs of quiet toddler giggles. Just muffled ones, seeing as Niko was trying to contain himself but falling short of being completely quiet. It was then that Borys opened the cupboard door only to find one year old N bomb happily squished in amongst the Tupperware and smiling all the while.

As seen in the pics below, this cupboard has become a favourite “go-to” place for our tiny rebel. He especially loves putting one Nalgene bottle over each hand and then banging them together – a makeshift musical instrument of sorts. What fun.

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